i forgot this place existed.

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I forgot this place existed.

No lie. Truth.

I frequently forget the most important parts of me.

Like how I LOVE hosting gatherings but often overlook obvious things like food. You know why? Because I imagine how I want it to feel... not taste.

Like the part about how I love with every ounce of me, when I'm with you is fully present and fully engaged. It's why I hate my cell phone, because I never feel like I can really actually truly connect with you.

I forget often how very sad I get, like stomach turning upset, when others choose not to show up or hide their true selves. It makes me feel alone and there are days when I just need you to show up.

Like the part that loves a solid (to near impossible) challenge. It's in my blood (thanks mom). I typically start with no idea where to start and move from there towards 'why the hell did I think this was necessary, let alone a good idea' and end with 'how the F*ck did I get here?'

And then there is the part that is very broken and capable of causing others deep pain. That part, that part is so hard to keep in the fore front. My words. My actions or inaction's. Lord grant me your mercy & grace.

I forget, that I am a maker, a co-creator and a visionary.

I forget my art making is showing up, sharing the real me and inviting others to join in!

This is my art.

Showing up is my medium.


Sarah ScheidlerComment